In the morning, to go to work in the palace, I ride in a vehicle that has FM radio capability. There is a radio station that we can receive that originates from the city, Some Iraqi uses his computer to constantly play music over and over and broadcasts it some way through some radio equipment. The music he plays usually isn't half bad. The weird thing is, Many times while listening, you can hear the instant messenger ding (Yahoo! I believe) when he recives a message. This guy can set up a veritable radio station, but doesn't know how to turn the ding off his messenger?

Sara says I should make this journal private, for friends only. I think she worries about any comments about sex. I don't know why it bothers her. She should be flattered that I find her so very attractive and sexy that I have to write about it. Timid as a mouse, yet a lion in bed. There honey, that one was for you.

There is a wonderful schmal currently going on. I don't think that word exists. Probably made up by the Iraqi's who laugh at us when we use it. Anyway, the schmal is a sandstorm. Right now there is dust everywhere. I can hardly breathe it's so bad. I wonder if I'll come down with some respiratory illness when I come back? People who have allergies or asthma would never make it here. You know it's bad when you can taste grit in your mouth between the teeth. While I'm on the subject of pests, the flies around here are real annoying. They're almost not scared of you. They take off slow if you go to hit them, which at least makes them easy to kill. Since the flies in the US are fast, I wonder what Darwinism made these slow? Maybe the humans here don't bother to kill them? Been a lot of Camel spiders lately. Ugly fuckin' things. Even if they aren't that big they look formidable with their nasty appendages. The soldiers around here have been catching them and seudo-keeping them as pets. They can't kill you and they don't have venom, but from what I know, they cling on and bite like a mother-fucker. They supposedly hurt real bad. I found a baby one on my bed the other night. Squashed that one.

I suppose since I've already been doing it, I'll devote at least one paragraph each day to Sara. Feelings, discussions or whatever. I've decided to give up my rehashing of past events, no matter how detrimental or bad they were. Not sure the hurt will ever totally go away, but it's not like it's the first time I've been hurt. Sort of like a scab that you keep picking at. Everytime you pick it it re-opens the wound. Each time though, the wound gets smaller and smaller. Only problem is, is that it never totally goes away, that's where you get your scar. I love Sara so much that it has to be done. I wish she knew how much she means to me. How she is the peanut-butter to my jelly, the marshmallows to my hot chocolate, Yang to my Ying, the queen of my castle. I think we started out on the wrong foot and never became true friends first. We didn't know how to be around each other constantly but not be apart either. She is my soulmate and the woman of my dreams. She produces the most beautiful babies, though a little impish. To hear her laugh at my jokes makes me feel good inside, even if I don't show it on the outside. I love that I can share the most horrible secrets with her and she will still stand by me. I love that we both have a sick sense of humor even if she thinks she's "not that kind of girl". She says I made her sick, and I counter that you can't make someone what they don't already have the potential to be. I love that I can say something so off the wall, yet she will understand it and probably agree with it. I love that she wants to hold my hand in public, make love at a moment's notice, not just help and understand my kids but be a loving mother, is very patriotic even though this isn't her motherland, takes all my faults including my dirty underwear, and forgives me for my sins. I love that she still wakes up every morning and still wants to be with me.


Spoken words that make me want to cringe or I find funny (guess which is which):

Crouping my brains out
got the runs
ehh-ehh-ehh
go ask dad, see if he cares
take Jackie O and stick her up your ass
you're out of your tree
that's a crock of shit
here lies Eric, and lies, and lies,
We had to eat soup and sandwiches
When I was a kid
We had our kids
Now that you have kids, it's payback
I've got a coupon
We were supposed to get 1% off our bill
Life is like a dick, if you can't beat it, fuck it
I hate you
I wish we never met
Uh-oh, daddy
I think I'm pregnant
Don't get complacent
Want to go upstairs?
The cat shit in the laundry basket
The cat pissed on the stove
Daddy, the cat threw-up
My parents are coming up
Well, fiddle-dee-dee